We don’t like the way things are. And we don’t like change. Put these two things together and you end up standing still.
That was said at a workshop I recently attended about transformation. And it stayed with me.
by Dee Cowburn
Because change and pushing out of your comfort zone is scary but it is the only way to grow.
Recently I read the Ros Atkins book about the Art of Explanation. And how to communicate effectively.
We work in communications so we all know how to get our message across in a professional sense or can advise executives on what to say and how to say it.
But, when we are operating within our own lives do we communicate as effectively? I was out of my comfort zone recently personally but I think it has helped me grow, not that I would have chosen it.
Ros Atkins, talking about his book, said that it is around helping people communicate effectively day to days as well as being used in a professional sense to get your message across.
Do you do that? Say what you really want in a personal capacity (non Machiavellian) to get the outcome you need? In terms of household stuff? Appointments? Relationships? Other things that are important to you?
Or do you only do it when it is needed professionally? Not personally. Is it too far out of your comfort zone?
These questions rumbled round my head after a trying couple of weeks personally.
Tilly, my little girl with Rett Syndrome, a genetic condition which leads to significant complications including scoliosis, respiratory issues, unsafe swallow and feeding tube, weak bones, dystonia (muscle cramps that can be serious), and the inability to communicate verbally, was poorly at school.
As in they couldn’t wake her up. At all. I got there and she was barely conscious so I raced her to the hospital. Quicker than an ambulance I know from previous experience.
She was taken straight in to A&E and seen by a lovely doctor Kieran. Super kind and super effective.
Rett Syndrome is relatively rare, affecting up to 1in 18,000 girls (mainly girls although some boys do also have Rett Syndrome). This means I have to explain things that matter really quickly and really succinctly, while in a state of panic myself.
The reason I am highlighting this example is because I knew Tilly’s drowsiness could be one of three things, new medication, tiredness from screaming at night or potential pneumonia which could be masked by her 70degree curve of the spine.
I summarised Rett Syndrome and its implications for the doctor, showed him a picture of usual Tilly so he knew the quality of life she has day to day and didn’t think she was just a list of symptoms, which can happen with such complex conditions unfortunately.
Then I listed my three reasons I believed may have caused the drowsiness, and why I thought it may be one of them. And what led to our arrival that day.
He said it was the first time he had received three bullet points in such a concise way with such a complicated condition. But that it helped him with what he needed to do. That gladdened me because in those situations you feel quite out of control. Not ideal when you are a massive control freak like myself. I am very self aware. And not usually that effective at saying what I need to say lost in a cloud of panic.
I do thinking reading the Ros Atkins book helped me because I thought what do I need to say, how do I need to say it, and if I was the doctor what would I need to hear, as in not waffle, but clear facts.
I am not saying any of that was easy, but she got nebulised quickly, got medicated quickly and his initial assessment around pneumonia proved to be correct with the chest Xray showing thats what she had.
And actually that communication approach helped and got her what she needed. And it got me thinking about Martha’s Rule implemented in the NHS from April 2024.
Martha Mills died in 2021 after developing sepsis in hospital, where she had been admitted with a pancreatic injury after falling off her bike. Martha’s family’s concerns about her deteriorating condition were not responded to, and in 2023 a coroner ruled that Martha would probably have survived had she been moved to intensive care earlier.
In response to this and other cases related to the management of deterioration, the Secretary of State for Health and Social Care and NHS England committed to implement ‘Martha’s Rule’; to ensure the vitally important concerns of the patient and those who know the patient best are listened to and acted upon.
Once fully implemented, patients, families, carers and staff will have round-the-clock access to a rapid review from a separate care team if they are worried about a person’s condition. I actually really did feel listened to in a way that felt different from previous visits.
Martha’s family, including mother Merope Mills, Guardian Saturday magazine editor, campaigned for the changes after the loss of her little girl. An incredible thing to do in the face of such pain.
So communication is vital and can and will be lifesaving for many. I know we all know this as communications professionals. But never take those skills for granted and remember using them in every area of life is just as crucial as the ‘professional’ areas, even in times of significant stress.
Dee Cowburn is owner of Dee Cowburn Communications Ltd
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