Just over a week ago many of you will have cheered, sobbed and enjoyed the Lionness’ historic win. But for us it was more than just a football match, it was more than just a trophy and it was definitely more than football coming home. It was something we recognised and had benefitted from…
by Jill Spurr and Louisa Dean
It was about that moment where women supported women and achieved great things that many people told them they could never do.
We’ve spoken about this a lot in the short time we worked together, and we still talk about it now – women have a tendency to put themselves down and think they can’t do something. Or worse still, they put each other down. It’s surprising how many women have had a negative experience of a woman in a leadership role – as if when they break that glass ceiling, shards of it are showered on those below, instead of the helping hand, waiting to pull you up.
But if you pull together and work together, the team is so much stronger, like the Lionesses. You should be fixing each other’s crowns, straightening them and supporting each other, because women lifting women is a special kind of magic.
And that’s what we did, and we wanted to share it with you.
Disclaimer: this blog isn’t about anyone in particular. It’s about everyone and no one. It’s about us. It’s about two careers that, over the course of time, had surprisingly similar experiences, similar ups, and downs. Especially the downs. If you recognise yourself in the behaviours we talk about – make a change. If you recognise yourself in the feelings we talk about – make a change. Be the difference you want to see. Just like the Lionesses are. Make today the start of something better.
When we started working together, we immediately made a connection because we recognised that we both needed support and we became a strong united force. Maybe it’s significant that our relationship met specific needs – bringing new skills into the team and new experiences for CVs – but somehow from the off we were incredibly frank with each other and neither abused that vulnerability. Sometimes, you need to be the person who says, “change starts with me”.
So, what did we do and why are we different?
We talked – we shared our stories, we talked about our experiences and how it made us feel. And if the truth be known, we both recognised our own experiences and feelings in each others.
We listened – there was a lot of talking which meant a lot of listening, but we had a safe space to talk about our own issues and anxieties.
We supported each other – we were there for each other. We both pushed each other out of our comfort zones but were there for each other when we did it and celebrated the success afterwards. The simple words “I think you can” have a profound effect when they are said with absolute conviction by someone you respect, because they drown out your inner doubter. Believing in someone is a gamechanger.
We championed each other – you would assume this is normal but when women manage women sometimes it is just not there and in the worst cases, the dynamic can be toxic. But it is powerful when you act as strong team, and the feeling of realising just how incredible female energy can be is addictive – you want more.
Most of all, we understood each other’s goals and we were committed to helping each other achieve them. That can be hard to understand, because ultimately it meant no longer working together, but we have the choice to be a part of someone’s success, or be the name left out of the story.
And then like the Lionesses we had some big events where we had to perform, that tested our relationship, skills and support like no other. Prince Philip’s funeral, the Queen’s Official birthday and then it all culminated in the CIPR regional awards in October. #MultiAwardWinning.
This for us proved our worth, showed that we could do anything we set our minds to and that we are stronger together – women are stronger together. Culturally, women are subjected to gender stereotyping that goes beyond pink sparkles instead of dinosaurs and frequently tells us that other women are the problem: she is thinner than you, prettier than you, cleverer than you; more successful, more popular, more everything. All that does is keep us fighting in the wrong direction, when we could be working together to change the world.
We did. We changed the world for each other. We are part of each other’s success story. Our crowns are straight, because of her.
This past week we have had the CIPR awards shortlisted out again and now the Lionesses winning!
We are all Lionesses – hear us roar!
Jill Spurr is head of communications at Affinity Trust – you can say hello at @dreamworkbc
Louisa Dean is head of communications at the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead and interim head of communications at Reading Borough Council – you can say hello on Twitter at @louisadean23
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Image credit – Nicola Bell, you can follow her on Windsor & Eton Photo Art on Instagram.
